Tomorrow
Posted on: October 16, 2011 at 11:55 pm. 2 comments
I know I’ve been M.I.A for awhile. With school, work, friends, birthdays, super nice October weather, 2 (and a half) visits to N, going to the CMT Hit List Tour (with David), getting asked out by a guy in my class, and many other things.. it’s hard to find time to blog.
There’s a lot I could say. To start, N and I are just going to be friends. His decision, and I understand. David and I, currently just friends. David’s ex and I… not really friends anymore, I don’t think. Because he told her that he wants us to get back together (which is something I figured he would never tell her) and now she basically hates me and went a little bit psycho. But I was starting to get the psycho vibe from her before any of that happened (and just a little side note: nothing has happened with David and I).
And even just now, I got sidetracked from this blog. And I have to be up in 7 hours for school, so I’m going to sleep now. But I promise to try and update you all on my life soon, and hopefully get a new layout soon too! I am learning more about graphic (and a little web) design, so I might as well put it to use!
2 comments Tags: Boys, College, David, Friends, Life, N, Relationships, School, Work.
Doin’ My Thing
Posted on: September 22, 2011 at 9:06 am. 2 comments
A lot has happened since I last posted. The only days I get off now are saturday’s, and I would have posted last Saturday but I was too busy showing up (unannounced) at David’s work with his ex girlfriend (who I met for the first time that day) to confront him on why he was telling both of us that he wanted to get back together with us, wasn’t trying with the other, etc, etc.
I know. Okay so, I had no intentions of getting back together with him- at all. I knew that even if I started to want it, I could NEVER bring myself to actually do it. Not only because of N, but also because I can’t do that to myself again. I have become a different person, and to go back to him would be taking seventeen steps backwards. So, I told him we could be friends and that’s it (actually, my plan was more to tease him and lead him on until I can manage to go visit N at school, then date him and say eff you David. hahaha, like he did to me 
) but he kept trying anyways. Nothing happened really, he kissed me randomly once but I yelled at him for it and he said he regretting it. He kept saying that he didn’t want to do anything that would make me leave, he just wanted me in his life, etc, etc. And I always got the feeling he was saying the same things to his ex, and I knew that things had still happened with them after they broke up.
So, I added her on facebook. It was honestly just to get to know her at first, because he kept saying he would set up a meeting for the three of us (her and I both wanted it) but would just tell me ‘she would probably have hard feelings for me’, and didn’t want me to tell her certain things that we did, etc, because he didn’t want to hurt her. Which I totally understood, because if it was me and we had just broke up and he was running back to an ex (even just to be friends), I’d be upset too. So I added her (and didn’t tell him) just to let her know that I have no hard feelings for her or anything and what not. She told him I added her, and he FLIPPED out at me, saying that ‘we can’t be friends if I’m going to go behind his back like that’ and what not, and after I explained why I did it he apologized. And I said ‘you have no reason to get worried. Unless you’re saying the exact same stuff to both of us and don’t want us to figure it out’. His reply? ‘Why would I do that? You’re the only one I want to get back together with’.
So she sent me a message asking why I was adding her, and I explained. She added me, and we just started casually talking about him mostly, and their relationship, and mine with him, and what she thought about me and our situation when they first started dating. What we slowly figured out (though within one night) was that before they were dating (they were together, but not OFFICIALLY for quite a while apparently, which was the same time he was trying to get in my pants before) and then again now, he was essentially playing us both. Telling both of us that he JUST wanted to be friends with the other, and telling us that he wanted us to get back together, trying to get us to sleep with him, etc. Now, when I found this out. I didn’t really care. My initial thought was ‘cool, peace out motha effer’. But he still owed me money for the CCMA tickets (which I have now), so I sent him a text asking when I could get that and then my plan was to just be done with him after that. Not a word to him about why, just leave and not cause any big thing.
She wanted to show up at his work and confront him on his lunch. Now, while not my initial idea.. of course I’m down for that. So down. So we did. We met the next day, talked a bit, and then showed up at his work when he was on lunch. The look on his face…priceless. He didn’t even know we were talking. His first word was just ‘What?’ like.. really? You don’t have any idea what this is about? So after she listed off a bunch of his flaws (greatest moment) and then we asked why he was trying to play us both, his reply? “I was just trying to figure out what I wanted. So give me some time to do that, and we can go from there”. LOLOLOLOLOL. I immediatly said “No. There is no going from there. I want my money from the CCMA tickets, and then I don’t ever want you to talk to me again”. And she said that she felt the same. And we had more questions, as to why he did it, what he thought it would accomplish, etc, etc, and he had no answer for any of them.
We eventually just left, and her and I were still hanging out. He started texting her, saying that I was lying, I was pushing for us to get back together and he didn’t want to, she can’t believe anything I say, etc. Yet I was right there with her, showing her the text messages he had sent me. If you ask him though, ‘it was all talk and he never would have actually done anything with me’. He did a lot of shitty things, like sleeping with her and then coming to hang out with me RIGHT AFTER he left her house, and things like that.
Monday night, I got my money and the three of us went out for dinner. He ‘explained his side’ to both of us at the same time, and said that ‘He wanted to see about getting back together with me, but doesn’t have the kind of willpower I do’ aka, he couldn’t NOT be having sex and since I refused to do it with him, he went to her. And kept telling her that he could see them getting together in the future. Just, playing us both essentially. So when I left, I told her that I’d talk to her later (we text all the time, and we’re planning on going to the movies next week) and that he could have a shit life for all I care, because I don’t give a fuck.
I did text him after, saying that I appreciated that he could tell us both his side so we were both hearing the same thing, but that I couldn’t do it again. He just texted me this morning saying ‘have a great day’, but I’m not replying. He’s still trying to play her, and I try so hard to get her to not fall for it because I hate that it will turn into exactly what happened with me and him. I don’t even care anymore, N is just awesome and I want to go and see him at some point soon. He kept tempting me to go last Saturday after everything happened, and he was just being super cute and awesome and ugh. He’s awesome.
Now that I’ve made a massively long post that I expect none of you to read, I hope you’re all doing well!
2 comments Tags: David, Ex Boyfriend, Friends, Liars, Rants, Relationships.
Just Passing Through
Posted on: September 2, 2011 at 11:19 pm. 1 comment
I apologize for the lack of posting in the last week. I’ve been sick since last Tuesday, and I’ve still had to work almost everyday since then so I have had ZERO time to recover. I am pretty much better now, I just have a terrible cough left- but it’s better than the feeling I had before, which was constant headaches, dizziness, hot-flashes, etc. It was not fun, and I pretty much lived off of Tylenol for awhile haha. When I wasn’t working, I was either sleeping (naps happened whenever possible) or watching Brothers & Sisters. I bought the first season months ago because I have always meant to start watching it, but I never got around to it until a few weekends ago. Last weekend, I went out and got Season 2&3 because I finished the first one and it’s a good show!
The only reason I’m not watching it right now is because I am installing photoshop on my computer. I had no choice but to pay $457 for it this afternoon (in addition to a $57 parking pass) despite the lovely Sage‘s best attempts to e-mail me a copy. I drove to school today (to practice for next week when I have to go on my own! ack) and back, with my sister helping me with directions. We also went to the mall where I bought yet another dress (surprise!) and some bath & body works stuff. It was buy 3, get 3 free and I found a smell I didn’t have that smelt sooo gooood, so I went ahead and found six things that I wanted haha.
When I got home, I had to go to work for four hours. That was.. fun. The new boss already wants to find a new job. So that’s usual drama that, I am just SO GLAD I’m going back to school next week so I will have the same set shifts every week, and not have to deal with them giving me ridiculous amounts of hours and 3 closing shifts a week, when the full-timers get less and I was told before that I wouldn’t have to close twice in a row because ‘it’s too difficult on you’. After work, I came home, got changed & then went to Subway… to meet David.
My plan was to not be friends with him. Or text him at all, and I told him that we needed to stop & it wasn’t a good idea. But we always ended up texting again, and he kept asking to see me but I just always said no. I figured if I went, I could get it over with and then see what happens from there. So it was fine, we ate and talked about what has gone on in our lives in the last few months. And he sadly didn’t get as ugly as I thought he had. But that’s okay. I still don’t think I want to be FRIENDS with him, but he did say he would come to the CCMAs with me and I REALLY want to go and no one else will come with me…. but I don’t know. I just know that we will never, ever be more than friends again. And I will not let it come anywhere close to ruining the possibility of things with N (even though he is failing lately…), because if that starts to happen I would stop everything with David. Immediately.
IDK, maybe it’s time to forgive & forget, seeing as I have been saying I’m going to just move on from the past…
1 comment Tags: David, Friends, Life, N, School, Work.
Rain is a Good Thing
Posted on: August 24, 2011 at 10:25 pm. 6 comments
It is currently STORMING out. There have been tornado/severe thunder storm warnings for southern Ontario all day, but RIGHT before I was leaving work (where I had to drive home for the first time in the dark, and the first time when raining) it started. And it’s still going, almost an hour later. It didn’t even seem dark out because there was CONSTANT lightning, and there’s constant thunder now. And all I can hear is the rain pounding. But I LOVE thunderstorms, and driving in them isn’t SO BAD (except when my mom calls me, of course. I have no idea why she would when she was freaked out enough as it was). So now I’ve just been mainly listening to ‘Rain is a Good Thing’ by Luke Bryan, because I love the sexy way he says ‘washing’ in that song, haha.
Some of you may know the story about my ex, David. He was essentially a douchebag, and actually ended up screwing me over AGAIN in May (which I never posted about) and then went and got a girlfriend the same day he’d be telling me bullshit about how I’m steps above any other girl he knew. So anyways, we stopped talking at ALL for about a month (for two months, we barely talked but he would always randomly text me and I’d just proceed to bitch him out) but he would still text my best friend/attempt to comment on my status (but I would always just ignore his comments). Since they got together, I ALWAYS predicted that 1) they wouldn’t last very long and b. when they broke up, he would come crawling back to me.
I have him blocked from my news feed on facebook. He doesn’t come up on my home page, and I don’t allow myself stalk his profile. So I knew that if they did break up (and I was talking to my friend about this on MONDAY), the only way I’d know was when one of my friends told me (which I knew they would as soon as they saw it). Low and behold, I was at the drive in last night when my friend frantically BBM’ed me telling me they broke up. And of course, less than 12 hours later- he texted me. Just asking about a song, and then of course told me about him and his girlfriend breaking up (apparently, she hated herself and blamed everything on herself so was never happy. And he’s never liked depressing people) and how we should be friends now, because ‘it’s what he wanted all along, but I never wanted to go for it’. And at this point, I don’t even really CARE. I want to keep the past in the past, and not have to deal with his bullshit. But at the same time, there’s SO MUCH HISTORY and as much as I have absolutely no interest in EVER getting back together with him, it’s hard to say no to being friends because I can’t say that I don’t miss him in some way.
IDK, my life is just easier without him. And I’m really just hoping that I really have gotten as strong as I’ve been thinking I was.
