If You Wanna Touch Her (Ask)
Posted on: June 9, 2011 at 11:37 pm. 2 comments
Day 09 – Someone you didn’t want to let go, but just drifted.
I think, the only person somewhat close to fitting this would be Brandon. Most of the people that have drifted away, it was for the better. David wasn’t drifting away, as much as I didn’t want to let go of most times. Brandon did, for awhile, but we’ve been talking more in the last few weeks & actually went out to McDonald’s yesterday. It was pretty spontaneous: he called me and said come to McDonald’s with me, so I did.. ha. My sister sketchily took a picture of me out the window when I left, getting into his car (she was APPARENTLY looking for the mail lady..) and then sent it to my other sister who was at work. She then BBMed me asking where I was, and I was confused. My dad wasn’t home at the time I left, so when he got home my sister told him, and he texted my mom saying I was in a silver car (they didn’t know whose it was) and when she got home from work WAY after I did, she asked me whose silver car I got into.
I was so confused about how EVERYONE knew. I was just like dude.. stop stalking my life! Ha. But it was amusing, because my dad saw me when I got home and all he said was ‘Mercedes convertable.. you’re moving up.’ Because Brandon’s car is clearly much better than all of David’s crappy ones. Though, his truck is pretty awesome… But it’s not ‘moving up’ because we are not together, nor will we be…
2 comments Tags: 30 Day Truth Challenge, Brandon, Creeps, Family, Life, Offline.
You Promised
Posted on: June 3, 2011 at 10:08 pm. 1 comment
Day 03 – Something you have to forgive yourself for.
Honestly, my entire relationship with David. Okay, not the entire thing but.. a lot of it. Mostly towards the end, I need to forgive myself for holding on and trying so hard when it was doomed. It caused a lot of pain, and I blame myself for so many things that I shouldn’t. I need to forgive myself for believing his lies all the way through, for falling for his bullshit lines and just everything. I blame myself for the pain because if I had have just been strong and said no, I wouldn’t have got hurt all those unnecessary times in the last few months. I know he shouldn’t have done the things he did, but I really shouldn’t have been so stupid to fall for the shit either when I knew what he was capable of doing. And I need to forgive myself for falling so hard for someone who changed so much into such a different person. And I need to forgive myself for still trying to keep him in my life now, when I know it’s so much simpler without him.
But Nathan is just a lot better. I still text him, not AS much now because we’re both working quite a lot (at opposite times, of course) so we only really get to text a lot before bed if one of us isn’t busy or something. But we still do, and there’s a goodnight text *most* nights. He is honestly just so sweet, and I don’t know if he has a single flaw. I’ve searched, trust me. It’s like he’s from another planet or something. So, I’m kind of constantly just waiting for the other shoe to drop, or to find out he has a secret girlfriend or just like idk.. is deathly ill or something. But, for now I’ll just enjoy the texting because it’s still all there can be for awhile.
This is a rather short post but, I have some issues to work through for plans for tomorrow night so I’ll possibly make tomorrow’s longer. Except I’ll barely even have time to post due to working/said plans, ha.
1 comment Tags: Boys, David, Life, Love, Offline, Relationships.
Three Six Five
Posted on: May 22, 2011 at 9:03 pm. 2 comments
Today marks day #295 of my 365 Design-A-Day challenge. This means I have about 70 days/designs left to do, and I have to say I’m quite proud/shocked that I have actually managed to make it this far. With the exception of once when I forgot (though remembered before I slept, around 2am) and once when I wasn’t home until after 12 I have made each design on time (though sometimes barely) and did my best to post it on time (though sometimes due to internet problems or just simply forgetting to hit the post button after a long day, some were delayed). While I’m super proud that I managed to make it this far, I’m a little disappointed that I didn’t always (especially lately) put as much effort into the designs as I could. Some days, when I was lazy or didn’t feel like doing anything but tumbrling or sleeping, I would simply just throw together some text & effects and call it a design. I’ve been doing that A LOT lately, simply because the time I do spend on the computer, I end up not really doing much of anything productive. Which reminds me, I need to go sign up for an english assessment for college in the fall. I’ll go do that now.
And right as I went to do that, my parent’s told me I had company- Taylor stopped by on her bike ride and we talked for a bit (also climbed up on the roof of my dad’s shed, and I almost fell through but you know). But now, everything is booked for next wednesday and I’m all set. I’m not even entirely sure what it will consist of, but I know that it’s to determine how many English classes you have to take. I’ll either have to take one or two, or if I’m really lucky/smart (which i doubt) then none.
Anyways. Back to how unproductive I am (see, even just attempting to write a blog post.. I get so distracted and end up taking hours to do it). Usually, I would have all the time in the world after school and on weekends to work on my site, make layouts, code things, etc. But with work, I get off at different times and I’m way more tired so I just never have it in me to ACTUALLY design a lot of cool stuff. Or anything, really. I worked 8 eight hours today, and then I work another 8 tomorrow (despite the fact that it’s a holiday) and Tuesday and Wednesday as well. Then i get Thursday off, work Friday afternoon, have Saturday off & work Sunday. Generally on my days off, I just want to sleep for as much as I can because I’m just exhausted all week. I really felt like designing last night, but it happened at 1am and I KNEW I had to go to bed to be up for work. And I was SO tired all day today, and I know I will be tomorrow.
But hopefully, at some point sometime soon, I will be able to possibly make a new layout for here, add some new stuff to quotetastic & FINALLY manage to get my portfolio site up and running. I’ve had it since November, and there’s absolutely nothing… But for now, I’m going to wait for my laundry to be done, maybe design a bit, watch some fireworks & go to BED.
2 comments Tags: 365, College, Life, Offline, School, Tired, Work.
Fighting Dragons With You
Posted on: February 17, 2011 at 12:28 pm. 3 comments
I’ve known my best friend, Taylor, since we were in kindergarten. For my 5th birthday, her and her cousin came to my house and we laughed so hard over putting a washcloth on my mom’s head. We went to an indoor play place, and that’s about all I remember. My mom worked with Taylor’s grandma, and so it was only natural for us to be friends. Except, after kindergarten.. we weren’t friends. We hated each other up until grade eight (we both pretend that we don’t know why, I remember something about because she told me one of my friends didn’t like me, and didn’t want to talk to me) when we somehow got seated at the same table, teamed up to annoy the crap out of the other guy at our table, and we’ve been best friends ever since.
Not once since then, have we had a fight. I mean, there will be times when I get annoyed by small things she does & I’m sure it’s the same for her but never in the last five years have we had a problem with a huge fight, name calling, boy stealing, etc. I had another best friend in the last five years too, who sadly wasn’t as good of a friend as I thought & I learned how it felt to be betrayed by someone who was your best friend. What I don’t understand, is how people go about betraying their friends and the people they claim to love. I mean, we pick the people we have as friends; we aren’t handed them like we are with family. We get the choice, and we choose who we want to spend our free time so I don’t understand why some friendships have so much drama.
Don’t get me wrong, our ‘group’ of friends had our share of drama last year but we immediately talked it out and after a bit of awkwardness for a day we went back to being how we were before, if not better and closer as friends (at least most of it). And this isn’t coming from anything in particular, either with me or that I’ve seen recently.. but there are so many stories of friendships being ruined because of one thing or another. I just don’t get why. I mean, I know mistakes happen & sometimes we do things we later realize we shouldn’t, but if we care about that person why would we even think of doing something to hurt them in the first place? There are days in a row where I won’t talk to Taylor, and we might not get a chance to hang out for weeks but no matter what, we can still pick right up where we left off, have conversations without words & completely understand each other. I have her listed as my sister on facebook, as she often feels more like a sister than a friend (not to mention, we could easily pass for sisters. We look a like, and last week at work someone asked me if I was her mother’s daughter.) and I could never imagine either of us doing something to make our friendship not important, because I honestly don’t know how I could get through things without her. So when people have something like that, why would they do something so stupid to mess it up? And why would they just leave it be, instead of trying to fix it immediately?
